The Creative Act of Gender

i was born this way. at an early age i can see i liked men. i was raised by my mother with my sister. i once got a boner on my uncles shoulder. but the closest man in my family was my grandfather. still, i never played the games the other boys did. i liked barbies. i liked talking and dancing and singing and laughing. i didn't like sports and i was uncomfortable with most boys because i was different than them. it was plainly obvious, but only threatening to a few, and mainly during middle school. the objects of my desire were men, a man had always been the goal in my dreams. i do love men. i love how they feel, and how i feel. i adopted, without design, the characteristics of the females around me and the females i saw on tv. rachel, ally, sarah these were my role models. they and my girlfriends were who i related to, who i admired, and aspired to be. and my relationships with men are perhaps uncanny, but in romantic relationships there is a dynamic i love. a balance - ebbing - tension and release - freedom and limitation. it is a state of creativity ::gender.relationships